Let's go for a walk...

I did a kind of a silly thing today. After dinner at the BCM Dining Hall, I decided to take a long emo walk alone up the nearby Gasing Hill. Just needed to be in a quiet place, and thought I needed some exercise too, so why not kill two birds with one stone, no?

Anyways, what was so silly about this was that it had just rained and it was getting late, so that would mean that the Jungle grounds would be slippery and that it would get dark pretty soon. But that didn't really bother me (at first anyway). I just wanted to walk. Actually ah, *blush* I wanted to talk to God and hoped that a nice quiet jungle would be where I could find him. (*paiseh* so bodoh! God everywhere mah!) So without really thinking, I ventured deeper and deeper into the jungle. I'd been inside a few times before, so my legs were kinda on auto-pilot while my mind was... well, not there la. Ha!

As deep as my legs had brought me, so deep were my mind in thoughts (Proof that thinking too much gets you into trouble!) It was only by the sound of on owl's loud hoot did I come to be aware of my surroundings. (honestly, it scared the pants off of me. Not literally). Suddenly, I felt worried. And it didn't help at all that I could hardly see in the darkness. How on earth did it get so dark so quickly? I checked my phone, it was hardly 7:30pm. Trust me, in the jungle, it's at least 2 to 3 times darker in the night. I quickly made my way out of there. My slow walk became brisk. I had gone deeper than I intended. I began to jog. Still no sign of an exit and the skies got yet darker. I didn't bother to wait for my eyes to adjust. I just ran.

As much as I love my 'asadi's (imitation Croc Sandals), they simply aren't made for hiking. In the darkness, I slipped and slided all over the place and even fell on my butt once. But I just got up and kept on running and running. In my mind, I kept yelling to myself, "Call someone!!! Call someone!!!" but the sad thing was, I couldn't think of anyone I could call. In my panicked, scared and darkest (pun intended) moment, when I felt greatly in need of help, I couldn't think of anyone I could call...

And that's sad.

It suddenly hit me really hard. I was lonely. Ironically, I had gone into the jungle to be alone. But now I realise how deeply lonely I feel inside me sometimes. *Sigh*

Needless to say, I eventually found my way out of the jungle. I felt really relieved to have gotten out of that situation, and now as I think about it, I thank God that I got out safe and unharmed. In my haste and in darkness, I could have tripped over a root, or slipped down a slope, or twisted my ankle... (OR SAVAGELY DEVOURED BY SOME NIGHT JUNGLE CARNIVOUROUS BEAST, NEVER TO BE HEARD OF EVER AGAIN!!!)(Hey, in my mind, at that moment, it was a possibility k? Gimme a break! I just found out I'm lonely!) *Ahem* so yeah, that got me thinking again.

"God, it's ok if I'm alone. Sometimes, I really miss having someone I could really talk to. But I know that when there's no one, I can always count on you. But right now, I'm feeling lonely, can you please give me a sign that you're with me, any sign... please???"

And then at the right moment, as I was walking past the houses back to the college, I caught a glimpse of a blinking light in the bushes. I took a second look and my legs froze. I let out a little sigh... fireflies! There were two or three fireflies in the bushes! And as I looked up into the trees above me, I was just so filled with awe and amazement! There were so many more little flying blinking lights!!! It was so beautiful!!! There must've been at least 20 or 30 of them! I mean, that's not super alot, but in a city like Petaling Jaya??! I would never have imagined!!! I was... just.so.amazed.

"Thank You God for reassuring me! You are my Father and I am Your son! You love me even when I treat you less. You will never leave me! You will never forsake me! Even when I am alone, I never need to feel lonely! Thank You Lord! I love You God! You are my King and I will serve You for evermore!"